Bankers Are Like Cheap Boyfriends with Expensive Guitars.

Jessica Pressler has a great analogy for the bankers that are in dire financial straights -- but still manage to have a few billion leftover for bonuses:

Have you ever dated one of those guys who never has any money? Like you go out to the movies or whatever, and you have to pay because he's like, "I spent my entire paycheck on weed"? He never brings you flowers or anything like that because of his lack of funds, but also because, you figure, he is a burgeoning alternative rock star, and beyond engaging in such corny behavior. Then one day he suddenly shows up with a bright, shiny multi-thousand-dollar guitar. "Check out this riff!" he says, as you clench your teeth and silently seethe.

Awesome.