Is a Little Bit of BDSM All Bad?

The latest issue of Bitch (a feminist magazine which I've had for a couple weeks but haven't taken a look at until this weekend) recently sparked a controversy on a feminist listserv in which I participate. I'm a little late weighing in on this -- much of the debate happened early last week, while I was finishing up my vacation, but I think it's a relevant enough topic to still weigh in on. The argument erupted over a cartoon on page 43 of the noir-themed issue.

The comic, titled "The 'Nightmare' Zone" by Jennifer Cruté, depicted an artist who seems to be fantasizing about finding herself in hell, tied up, and with a white man wearing a devil hat holding a paddle. The comic's main character says, "Hey! Wait a minute! I was good all of my life! Shouldn't I be in the other place?" The man in the devil hat responds, "Oh baby! This is the other place!" The white man smacks the main character on the ass with the paddle and in the final frame of the comic, she seems to be in a state of euphoria, with a devil character on one side riding a dildo and an angel charactor on the other winking. To further put the cartoon in context, it is part of a full color section of the magazine devoted to "my dark confession" in which "five comic artists reveal their secret loves, lives & lust."

In other words, this is a depiction of a dark fantasy the cartoonist went out on a limb to share. The reaction by one woman on the listserv was obvious one of concern. She wondered how far we are supposed to go in terms of sanctioning violence against women even if it is in the name of sexual fantasy.

Her concern is one that many feminists struggle with. Rape fantasies and submissive sexuality are really complicated places to negotiate as a feminist. This essay from a recently released book on the subject (Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti) is worthwhile and I recommend anyone read the whole thing.

BDSM (for my purposes, bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism) makes a lot of people uncomfortable, and the concept of female submission makes feminists really uncomfortable. I can certainly understand why, but I also believe that safe, sane and consensual BDSM exists as a polar opposite of a reality in which women constantly face the threat of sexual violence.

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But when you throw a little rape, bondage or humiliation fantasy into the mix, a whole set of ideological problems arises. The idea of a woman consenting to be violated via play not only is difficult terrain to negotiate politically, but also is rarely discussed beyond BDSM practitioners themselves. Sexually submissive feminists already have a hard enough time finding a voice in the discourse, and their desire to be demeaned is often left out of the conversation. Because of this, the opportunity to articulate the political ramifications of rape fantasy happens rarely, if at all.

Ultimately, what was depicted in the cartoon was fairly tame, especially by BDSM standards, and the comic clearly noted how risky such a fantasy is -- I might even argue that it addressed some guilt over even having such a fantasy. I know that we tend to come from a culture that has a very repressed sexual past. This kind of sexuality isn't for everyone. It's complicated, especially for feminists that work on increasing agency of women and it becomes difficult when some women use that agency to ceede sexual power.

But by eliminating the option of expressing or discussing such a fantasy in an alternative feminist magazine especially seems to further ghettoize such fantasies. It urges such people to keep it closeted, hidden, and never to talk about it. I'm glad that Cruté was brave enough to share her fantasy, and that it sparked a debate among feminists. The more we talk about these things, the closer we might get to actually negotiating some space in the public discourse for them.