Friday, January 16, 2009

Clowns are Scary.

Via the illustrious Pam Spaulding at Pandagon, a middle school in Ohio hired Derek Dye to dress up as a clown and teach messages of abstinence in the halls. Ew. Okay, full disclosure: clowns terrify me. And rightly so! They have a permanent smile painted on their faces, and the scariest ones try to hug you. Not cool, people. Not cool. Take a look at Dye’s promotional video below:

Ew. That’s all I have to say. This guy reminds me of those pastors who use magic tricks to oversimplify religion. He uses machete-juggling as a metaphor for sex because they both involve risk. Wow, you’re right, Dye. Those two things are exactly the same.

Furthermore, isn’t using magic tricks for 7th graders a little, um, stupid? This is the age at which adolescents try to act cool, and clowns aren’t cool. I can feel the eye rolls from the audience as this guy makes his speeches. Nice try, though. I’m glad he’s getting part of an $800,000 federal grant to perform this shit to middle schoolers.

Cross posted at Pushback.

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